I’m doing better than I am feeling

I’ve been in a funk. Starting a new business, putting myself out there to build a network of women to hang out with along with changing habits to live healthier. After all my years of travel, I find myself knowing tons of people but not having much of a network of like-minded women locally to hang out with.

After getting over whatever illness I had for 3 weeks, I found myself overwhelmed with everything. I was not working the way I needed to, but started working out and focusing a bit on my food. Even though I am quite a positive person, I found the day to day unexpected “first world life on life’s terms” challenges taking a mental toll on me. Needing a new roof, $7k of unexpected dental work, keeping up with everything in the house, etc.

I have learned over the last several months that quality time with people I love feeds my soul in a way that words cannot describe. I have been doing that on a fairly regular basis with my family of choice. Time with both the adults and kids always leaves me feeling loved and of value.

I have worked out at least 4 times a week for the last two weeks and I notice the mental change. I’m doing it on my own without a trainer which for me is huge. Only being accountable to myself is something I typically don’t do well with. Perhaps I am growing in this area.

When I think of someone, I try to reach out to them. We don’t know what’s next and I have had too many regrets because I waited and the chance was lost. Today I called a long-time friend to check on her. At some point we discussed me and I let her know I’ve been trying to find some balance between my semi-retired status and everything else. After explaining what I am doing, she told me I was doing great and that focusing on what I am doing rather than what I’m not would serve me well. Those weren’t her exact words, but what she said flipped a switch for me. I am doing better than I give myself credit for. This is a pattern, so not surprising.

Life is short and not having a partner means everything is on me. The truth is I have started a new business at 67 doing something I love and don’t consider work, I am getting out and meeting new people, spending time with people I love and am slowly working on my food while exercising and building my strength.

While I typically can talk to myself and realize I am doing better than I am feeling, for whatever reason this time was different. Feeling empowered and proud of myself sure beats sad and overwhelmed. I am grateful to have loving friends that can offer an honest perspective when I am willing to share what is really going on.