I began having massages earlier this year at the suggestion of several friends. Each time I went, it helped for a little while, though the massage itself was never what I would describe as relaxing. How could it be, when I was so tense all the time? Charlotte, my massage therapist, spent most of the time loosening all the knots I accumulated.
Recently, I went on a transatlantic cruise by myself. Although that scared many I told, for me it would be a welcome break from the otherwise hamster-wheel life I chose. Work was consuming much of my life, and, between business trips, I was settling into a new home. Day to day affairs were all on me as I am single and unattached. This life was all my choice, but never did I imagine it would take the toll it had on me physically.
While away, I had several spa treatments. After one in particular that included a detox, I felt different. Little did I know that this may have been the catalyst I didn’t know I needed. Something was released from my body, something that was no longer serving me. I can’t even identify or describe it other than I know it no longer resides in me. By the time I arrived home, it felt like I had smoked a joint. I don’t know if I have ever felt that relaxed for an extended period. When the feeling finally wore off, it was replaced by an inner calm that is now guiding almost everything I approach. Although I consider myself to be on a spiritual journey, I think back on the stress that I approached everything I encountered with. It was as if my body has a role in guiding my reactions.
I recently went for a massage with Charlotte. Soon after she started, I noticed something… there was no pain. I was actually enjoying it. I even dozed off at some point as relaxation set in.
After I got dressed, Charlotte told me that if she was blindfolded she never would have believed it was me she was massaging. When I told her what happened, she understood. I don’t know if it was the spa treatments, being in the middle of the ocean, the relaxation of traveling alone, or that my spirit was simply ready to release whatever I was holding onto. It doesn’t really matter. I’ve been told I am carrying myself differently, and I feel lighter.
My body spoke, and I listened. It doesn’t matter what changed or how but only that it did.