Reasons or Excuses

Who I Would Be If I Got Out of the Way

I began imagining who I would be if I truly allowed myself to become all that I could be.  While still a bit scary, some of the thoughts were quite exciting.

From a health standpoint, allowing myself to achieve and maintain my goal weight would elevate me in several ways.  I’ve used my weight to keep people away, for not feeling worthy of love, and as a reason to not truly accept myself.  These excuses would melt away.  My pattern of self-sabotage would be broken.  That weight would open the doors for me to try some things that have always intimidated me, such as zip-lining and a ropes course.  My fear of heights would be lessened with the reduced poundage. 

The excuses I use for not achieving the level of success I believe I am truly capable of would not be present.  Therefore, each day would have endless possibilities.  Being able to say I am successful without making excuses, feeling guilt, or fearing judgment feels freeing, even as I write this. 

I know I am supposed to write a book, yet I keep finding excuses not to.  When the excuses, whatever they are, no longer exist, there are only reasons.  Perhaps I am supposed to write a different kind of book than I planned and that is what is holding me back.

I never forget or stop believing in my Higher Power.  I do, however, sometimes allow my ego or lack of self confidence to get in the way.  If neither happened, I would know, every minute of every day that I can do whatever I set my mind to.  What an incredibly empowering thought that is.  Truly knowing there were no limits would take me places I most likely can’t even imagine at this moment. 

Nobody judges me more than me. Removing that negativity would leave no reason to not walk through any door.  I know I am capable of more than who I am currently physically, spiritually, and emotionally.  Just knowing there is more I can achieve makes me want to start exploring the possibilities right away.

As my meditation journey continues, I believe the mindset that has held me back will be unlocked, and I will truly become who I was created to be.  That idea offers endless opportunities and a rejuvenation of my spirit.  I can’t wait to see where my journey takes me next.

In what ways have you been standing in the way of yourself? Let me know below.

 

  • When I was a teen in the 70’s, my family would periodically visit friends of my parents.  I so wished our family could be like them. They were happy and all got along.  In 1995, early in recovery, I remember going to a meeting because I was very upset about something.
    Do you ever compare your insides to others’ outsides?  For years I didn’t realize that was what I was doing.  I learned what was causing it… For me, it was about not being spiritually centered.  Anytime it happens, when it gets uncomfortable enough and I reflect, it always seems that
    I walked through a Publix parking lot this afternoon and many guy carrying flowers and balloons. Initially, this was a reminder that, on yet another Valentine’s Day, I am alone. But as I walked in and saw display tables lined with even more flowers and balloons, my thoughts turned elsewhere.
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