You may or may not have noticed there were no posts the last few weeks. My life has felt like it turned upside down. Physically, spiritually, and emotionally I have been completely off kilter. My visits to the gym have been, well, nil other than once in the last 7 weeks. Meditating has been sporadic at best. My eating, while fairly good, completely spun out of control the last 9 days while I was on the road. I’ve felt sad and unaccomplished. I realized during a recent sponsorship retreat that being grateful doesn’t mean I am happy and that I seem to be wasting quite a bit of time. There, now you know everything. Two sayings have been resonating with me lately. The first, “if I am not the problem, there is no solution”; the other is “when I get sick and tired of being sick and tired, I will change”. I got home on Tuesday night, and by Wednesday morning, I knew something had to change.
I made a list of all the things that needed to be addressed. 17 items without thinking too hard. I decided 3 was a manageable amount to take on to start. It was important for me to pick things that could be accomplished sooner rather than later…I still like instant gratification.
The first thing I did was to make an appointment with an orthopedist since the pain in my ankle keeps getting worst. The soonest appointment was 3 weeks out. Done! Friday I received a text that there was a cancellation and I could go first thing Monday morning…yay! One down, two to go…
I found a therapist in Atlanta that does online sessions via webcam. Given my crazy work and travel schedule, this is the only way I can really hope to get the help I need. I have a call scheduled for Wednesday afternoon. Things just feel like they are falling in place now that I am willing to be a part of the solution.
My ego wouldn’t allow me to call Brian, the owner of the gym I was paying for and not going to, so I sent a text . My initial thought was to quit paying and just figure out something I could do at home. Gratefully, Brian knows me and what I need. He called me on my BS and said it in a way that was caring and helped me realize what I deep down knew I needed to do. I upgraded to personal training and am back going 3 times a week while in town. He lets me carry sessions forward when I’m on the road. As much as I want to think I’ll get up and go to group classes, I don’t. My track record proves the accountability of personal training works best for me. I’ve been there twice this week. It felt great getting back to what I know is good for my mind, body, and soul.
Once I get the doctor and therapy appointments completed this week and find out what is ahead, I’ll decide what to take on next. The most important thing for me is that I was willing to take action. That alone has already helped me mentally. I kept finding excuses for not doing all 17 things on my list. Gratefully I got miserable enough to now use them as reasons to get in the solution and do something different. Once again, it is all about the perspective I choose to use!