You may or may not have noticed there were no posts the last few weeks. My life has felt like it turned upside down. Physically, spiritually, and emotionally I have been completely off kilter. My visits to the gym have been, well, nil other than once in the last 7 weeks. Meditating has been sporadic at best. My eating, while fairly good, completely spun out of control the last 9 days while I was on the road. I’ve felt sad and unaccomplished. I realized during a recent sponsorship retreat that being grateful doesn’t mean I am happy and that I seem to be wasting quite a bit of time. There, now you know everything. Two sayings have been resonating with me lately. The first, “if I am not the problem, there is no solution”; the other is “when I get sick and tired of being sick and tired, I will change”. I got home on Tuesday night, and by Wednesday morning, I knew something had to change.
I made a list of all the things that needed to be addressed. 17 items without thinking too hard. I decided 3 was a manageable amount to take on to start. It was important for me to pick things that could be accomplished sooner rather than later…I still like instant gratification.
The first thing I did was to make an appointment with an orthopedist since the pain in my ankle keeps getting worst. The soonest appointment was 3 weeks out. Done! Friday I received a text that there was a cancellation and I could go first thing Monday morning…yay! One down, two to go…
I found a therapist in Atlanta that does online sessions via webcam. Given my crazy work and travel schedule, this is the only way I can really hope to get the help I need. I have a call scheduled for Wednesday afternoon. Things just feel like they are falling in place now that I am willing to be a part of the solution.
My ego wouldn’t allow me to call Brian, the owner of the gym I was paying for and not going to, so I sent a text . My initial thought was to quit paying and just figure out something I could do at home. Gratefully, Brian knows me and what I need. He called me on my BS and said it in a way that was caring and helped me realize what I deep down knew I needed to do. I upgraded to personal training and am back going 3 times a week while in town. He lets me carry sessions forward when I’m on the road. As much as I want to think I’ll get up and go to group classes, I don’t. My track record proves the accountability of personal training works best for me. I’ve been there twice this week. It felt great getting back to what I know is good for my mind, body, and soul.
Once I get the doctor and therapy appointments completed this week and find out what is ahead, I’ll decide what to take on next. The most important thing for me is that I was willing to take action. That alone has already helped me mentally. I kept finding excuses for not doing all 17 things on my list. Gratefully I got miserable enough to now use them as reasons to get in the solution and do something different. Once again, it is all about the perspective I choose to use!
You inspire me daily! Thank you!
Perseverance is the word of my day and this blog is spot on.
Karen, I loved reading this. It’s so easy to stop, then decide those things I had been doing were the problem, and never go back. But you did the right thing– you picked up and kept going. The life you have built for yourself is an amazing one. I love reading your kind and loving words, and the honesty with which you tell us about your actions inspires me to take some actions too.
Action is so important Karen. I am very, very proud of you. I had an awakening 2 weeks ago & have been meditating ( sort of ) and today began working toward a possible solution.
I love you!
Girl! I am with you! Trying to light that fire under me now! Lov u! Thx for sharing!
I love the simplicity of writing a list and picking somewhere to start. It works for me at my job, and I think I needed this reminder that I can do it with all my personal stuff too. It takes a mountain and turns it in to a bunch of little hills, which we can tackle one by one. Your willingness and perseverance are models for me. Thank you for sharing so openly!