Lessons Learned

What I Have Gained From The Virus (Part 2)

This is part two of my multi-part series on what I have gained from the coronavirus.  To read part one, click here.

When this all began, I never would have imagined this would be what I’d write about.  I feel blessed beyond words to have so much to share.  Because so many people are suffering either physically, financially, or emotionally, my experiences have taken on an even more important role.  Sharing our time – something we can only give and never receive in return – has taken on an even more important role.

Staying in touch – I am blessed to have the most incredible people in my life.  Some live close and some on the other side of the world.  Outside of work, there are lots of hours (especially on the weekend) to fill.  One of the best gifts has been scheduled online face time with friends. One friend in particular stands out.  In the past we would schedule face-to-face time four to six weeks in advance.  We both had very busy lives, and this was the best we could do.  As much as I loved our time together, how do you catch up on everything that has happened in that space of time?  We both knew much was lost, but there wasn’t much we could do thanks to everything else we had going on.  Gratefully, we have both now committed to 5pm Friday.  It is a beautiful segue to the weekend.  What a difference catching up on seven days vs. four to six weeks makes.  It is difficult to put into words the difference it has made in our relationship.  I have chosen – and yes, it is a choice – to commit time to catching up with friends on weekly basis.  I plan on continuing to make this a priority from now on.

Questioning everything I believe – At 62, I thought I knew what I fundamentally believed.  I’m open to new ideas, but nothing has drastically changed for many years.  A tweak here, a tune up there, but that’s about it.  One of the amazing outcomes from this journey has been the chance to not only question but also take time to dig deep and challenge certain beliefs.  It started with the way I believed our weekly NA meeting “should be run.”  After showing my butt, I realized I wanted it to be the way it served me.  In the end, everyone got what they needed.  Most important, I learned how some of my decisions are based on my needs and not for the greater good.

We all get to choose how we deal with the virus.  At one point, I couldn’t imagine why certain people chose what they did.  How could a business stay open that wasn’t what I considered essential?  At the end of the day, if I stay in my hula hoop and do what I need to for myself, what others do is none of my business.  When I make it my business, more likely than not it is based on fear or the need to look outside myself because I don’t like what I see in the mirror for whatever reason.

I feel like I am in flux right now.  I’m still questioning certain things; I look at that as being very positive.  Normally I’m running to and from airports, packing and unpacking with just enough time to do the essentials of life.  This inner movement is taking me somewhere.  I can’t wait to see where I wind up.

Stay tuned for part three of this series coming soon.

  • “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”  Buddha.  When I recently saw this on someone’s Facebook page, it stopped me in my tracks.  Perhaps this is one of the pieces missing in my life.  I’m definitely good to myself… nails, hair, massage, etc.  But am I compassionate?  Would
    When I was a teen in the 70’s, my family would periodically visit friends of my parents.  I so wished our family could be like them. They were happy and all got along.  In 1995, early in recovery, I remember going to a meeting because I was very upset about something.
    *In January 2014, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. My diagnosis would begin an incredible journey I never would have known to pray for. Nine months later, I wrote this letter. Dear Cancer, I am a bit surprised that I didn’t think of writing this letter sooner, but I feel
    I could never in my wildest dreams imagine a day when I couldn’t walk in Starbucks and sit down with a cup of coffee.  The idea that Publix would only allow the purchase of two packages of fresh protein per person – that the store would have empty shelves where